it's homecoming in like 8 hours!!!!! yayyyyyy!!! hollis is my date, of course, but i can't wait! lol. i'm going with her and kelsey. (don't worry, i'll take a thousand pics) if i can figure out how, i'll put the pics on here... if not, i'll put them on my webshots thing and then give you the link here... but anyways... yea, so i'm bored, and i'm fasting... so i can't eat, which is usually what i do when i'm bored... ahhh so that's how i got chubby just kidding! i know a million of you will get mad at me for saying that... lol. well, i need to clean my room before i go, so i'll write you guys about it later!

~ronni

ho hum.. so yea, i can't sleep... and i just finished my hw... lol. actually, i lied, i'm studying for spanish test tomorrow... i suck... but anywho... how was your weekend? mine was quite lovely... after school fri, aly hollis rzan and i went to the mall, and dinner at cafe express... too bad we didn't leave a note for that waiter either... haha, however hollis was extremely impressed with the cup-twirling dude... she wanted to "jump on him" haha. then that night aly and hollis slept over, i gave them makeovers... lol, i don't like them touching my face after that one night at aly's when she put like ten pounds of makeup on me cause hollis thought it would be funny to make me look like a slut... i couldn't get all the makeup off for like, days. then when they left at like noon on sat, i took a shower and went to alicia's party at 1, stayed there til like 1030ish... and i couldn't sleep since we watched some scary movie called saw... and i didn't finally get to sleep until like 430 (i am a COMPLETE wimp when it comes to scary movies, i cannot stand them) then today i woke up at like 12... since i didn't get to sleep til really late... and then i did a couple lessons for my online health class... and then watched the first hour of forever young, then went on the comp, then watched the first hour of the city of angels (i have a short attention span) then went on the comp, then went out to dinner with my mom and bro... and then came back, did my hw, and here i am!! yep... so that was my weekend... by the way, anyone that reads this that considers me even a friend, NEVER take me to see a scary movie, unless you're a guy and want me to end up falling asleep on your shoulder, cause i will (during the hiding of my face) haha trust me... there's precedent... well i'm gonna study more for spanish then sleep... or try to... so g'night!!

~ronnie

yea, i don't think anyone even reads this anymore, so i'll vent... i can't use names though, just incase... so anyways, i've known this guy for probably almost a year now... and he's always just been a sweetheart to me. he made me laugh all the time, even if it was at myself. there was just something from the beginning of our friendship, we were always honest with eachother. well, unless it hurt one of our feelings... and lately, i haven't talked to him much, but i find myself missing him more and more... and i never, until just these past few days, realized how much he really means to me. i know he doesn't feel the same way (like i said, we're honest with eachother) and i don't know if it's just because i haven't really liked someone in a little while, and it's just my hormones acting on the first person i could think of... but it's just like in the past year, it's just never been right for me to like him, whether i was crushing on someone else, or he was crushing on someone... we never we both neutral at the same time... i mean, something in the back of my head is telling me that us together would be perfect, but the logical thing in my head is saying that we would never be in the same place at the same  time... and i'm believing the logical part... i'm so tired of making the first moves on guys i like, and i want this one to happen naturally, if it is gonna happen... i'm just so afraid that if i wait too long, something will happen that will ruin any chance of us... argh, i don't want pity, and i don't want sympathy, i need some realistic advice... i just need to be sure of the choice that i make, whether i leave it alone or confront him about it... and it scares me a lil... i never knew i could ever feel this way about him... i'm not the kind of girl that falls for a guy seriously... i just crush... this time it's somehow different... it's always been there, i think... that little thought in the back of my head telling me that he could be that guy... i just pushed it aside cause i never believed he'd ever like a girl like me... i still don't so much as think he would like me, it's just that now there's no one else in my head that can cloud that little annoying voice... i know that kind of sounds like he's my last choice, but he's not... i think it may be why no other crush i've had hasn't worked out... the little voice... telling me that if i date some other guy, it would destroy what we had... argh, i'm self-pitying again!!! well, this is supposed to be a journal, right? haha. i guess the point of me writing all this, is i want opinions. should i tell him, or should i do what my advice always is to do... wait it out and it will happen naturally? i'm starting to think that life's too short to just let things happen naturally...  well... i'm gonna go to sleep

~ronnie